When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite
Friday, October 27, 2006
I just can't let go of you. I want to hold you tightly in my arms, but i can't. I want to shower you with lots of love and care, but i can't. I want to forget you, but i can't. I want to have you, but i can't. I want to have a continuous story with you, but i can't. I yearn to hold you hand, but i can't. I want to experience your loveliness, but i can't. I want to have you by my side, but i can't. I want to give you up, but i can't. I want to continue my normal life without you, but i can't. I want to meet you again for the last chance, but i can't. I want to say lots of things to you, but i can't. I want to say a simple, I LOVE YOU, but i can't. Just can't do it.
Battle won at 7:52 AM
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Wandering around in the dark forest, following the unknown trail, towards an unknown destination, finding an unknown object. Dragging the 10-tonne feet behind me, head hung high, following the light that had left me, the light that you gave me. Falling to the ground, losing all hopes of finding it back, all went pitch black. Slowly opening my eyes, or did I? There seemed to be no difference. Pushing myself off the floor with all my remainding strength, stumbling around, walking alone down the unknow trail, occasionally, knocked down by trees, but struggling up again. A thought struck my stressful mind. For what am I struggling? For who am i struggling? Legs giving way, i collapsed like a sack of potatoes onto the floor. Laying there motionlessly, with the thought of vultures circling around me, waiting for my breath to end, for a sumptuous feast. But i do not care. Feast on me for all you want. For I am walking alone down this busy road.
Battle won at 7:47 AM
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Shivering in a corner, hugging my kness towards me to get the non-existing heat. Its not the cold surrounding causing me to shiver, its you. Your gone-forever love has caused the forlornness in me. The heat, the love, the tender loving care that was once showered on me like rain, was suddenly turned to a blizzard with coldness, with hatred, with harshed treatment.
Asking myself the ultimate question of what had I done wrong? And the ultimate answer i got was I don't know, I really don't know. Some questions seemed to be unanswerable. Love, what is love? A word with lots of definition and felt by everyone, yet no one can fully described and understand what it is.
Battle won at 7:21 AM
Feeling empty inside ever since you left me. The first time i set my eyes on you, my heart was stolen by you. And now, you left with my stolen heart, leaving me empty inside. Flashes of you kept appearing in my mind. I just seem to unable to not remember them.
There are light at the other end of the tunnel. But the tunnel i went through, had submerged me in total darkness, unable for me to carry on to a defined exit. Lost of hope, sitting at the middle of the track waiting for death. Death seems to be the most appropriate route for me. Death seems to be the only solution to not remember you. Death seems to be the thing i want to do most.
Will there be 2 strong lights shining on me and bringing me death? Anybody got an answer?
Battle won at 4:32 AM
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Mesmerized by your eyes, enchanted by your smell and loved by your touched. All those that were once like drugs to me, causing me to be addicted for life was suddenly taken away from me. Letting me suffer in this empty shell, huddling in one corner, experiencing the "cold turkey". Tears dropping like rain, shivering due to the cold felt by only me, the cold that you left me in. The once most beautiful scenery was now bleak. My feeling was like withered flower, left out in the sun without water, love, care and concern.
Each step taken without purpose, trashing through the busy streets, with rushing passer-bys hustling past me. Head hung low, surrounding of black and white. Trapped by the happy memories only make me unable to continue my once normal life. Where am i? No place can contain me. Who will save me? No one can save me . How will i be saved? No method can help me. When will i be saved? No clock can tell the time. Why will i be saved? No reason can be found. Trapped in the dungeon, chained to the wall. Not complaining anymore. Accepting the cruelty of fate and life, hanging on the wall, like a dead person. The Phanthom has diminished in smoke. Hoping beong hope for the next person to free me, with the key of love.
Battle won at 9:55 AM
Friday, April 21, 2006
Tears flowing down my cheeks like a spoilt tap. Lost in the forest is what i feel. Just how can i help you? I have no idea. It was like walking circles in a jungle. Trying to find a way out. Scared to lose you, hope to help you are what i felt. When will they day come when you are truelly mine? The past 4 months of happy memories with you are what that give me hope. I hope that those memories will help you to heal the wound in your heart. I shall shower you with love and care. I shall heal your wound with my special remedy of love. I shall always be with you.
Battle won at 8:34 PM
Sunday, January 01, 2006
This is dedicated to my Laopo!
I shall always be here for you no matter what. When you are sad, I will comfort you. When you are happy, I will share the joy with you. When you are angry, I shall be your punching bag. When you are lonely, I will accompany you. When you are scared, I shall be there to protect you. You are what I am not. You are like my other hand. Without you, I will never be full. I really need you. I will hold on to you forever, never letting go. I will love you forever. I will care for you forever. I need you forever. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
Battle won at 8:19 AM
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Standing in the rain, everyone hustling past me. Everything looked so forlorn, so dark, so depressed. Or isit just me? Everyone looked so busy, no one spared a look for me. Perhaps I am not there, perhaps I should not be there, perhaps I should not exist at all. Not God nor the universe nor anything nor anyone should have created me. I am redundant, standing there in the rain, no use at all. Who cared to waste their precious time to spare a look at me. Looking up into the dark sky, rain pelting off me, I cursed and sweared, the pain I felt in my heart was overwhelming. Tears mixed with rain fell off my cheek and fell to the ground. In a state of confusion, I know nought of what to do. Confused, sad was all i felt. I closed my eyes, arms spread wide apart, someone, anyone, just put a knife in me, straight in my heart, and help me end this pathetic life. Just kill me, you all knew that was the right thing to do. You all wanted to be the hero to do it, so do it, everyone could do it, everyone should do it, everyone would do it. A sharp pain and all was gone, forever.
Battle won at 8:24 AM
Monday, September 26, 2005
Used to think that happiness is something that i felt when i see you, whenever you are near me. But isit really always this way? You seems to drift further and further away from me. We seems to be blocked by a thick wall. Nothing could penetrate this wall. It could not be melted, could not be hit, could not be lifted. Nothing. Absolutely nothing could be done to remove this wall. I guess that would mean that I have to leave it alone, looking at the dark wall, constantly thinking of you. I do not feel like doing anything, nothing at all. The wall seem to grow in thickness. Hoping that my sound would travel to you, I shouted at the top of my lungs. No use, there is simply no use. You can't possibly hear me. No way, I am lonely now, lonely in my dark world, my only source of light had been blocked out by the wall. I feel myself trapped in a cave, an impregnable cave. I am all alone now. Tears started to roll down my cheek as the thoughts of you flashes infront of me, playing on its own accord like I am in a cinema. Stretching out my hand, hoping to feel your warmth, but there is only darkness, darkness and coldness. I shivered a little. Lying on my back, I think, its time. Time for me to die.
Battle won at 12:00 AM
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Cut off communication for so long had made me thought of you more than ever. An invisible wall seems to have cut us off now. It seems difficult to get over it, it seems impossible to get over it. Lonely is all i felt, moving to the dark side of my life. My slavish devotion to you had ruled my life. I cannot shuddered to imagine my life without you. The darkest part of it, no brightness, the eerie part of it, the most horrible of it. It seems like death, but I am still alive. Zombie, a living dead, would best fit me now. Thrashing about the darkness in my life, hoping to find you, the source of light back. Or maybe, its time for me to just give up and move to the deepest, darkest part of my life. Indeed, fear gripped me to see you leave. Sadness overwhelm me when I thought of you. Loneliness appeared when time went by. The happy memories with you only made the darkness more obvious. Weeping softly in the middle of the night, and acting like a normal person was my daily routine. Memories of you flashes in my mind like a spoilt player, it just make me more forlorn than before. My heart will be yours forever.
Battle won at 12:00 AM
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Knifed out my heart and gave it to you. You just chucked it aside. I am now a body without soul. Living aimlessly in this world, nothing to expect, without past, present and future. Living like a walking zombie, I was very lonely. But all this could not be felt, since I was without a soul. Sometimes the thought of you will result in despair overwhelming me. Without you, emptiness could be felt in me. Without you, it is pointless to live anymore. Without you, I am better dead than alive.
Battle won at 4:57 PM
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
The pain and forlon felt by me is something that no one could comprehend. Hugging my legs close to me, sitting in a dark corner, head hung low, sad memories of how woebegone am i with pains of love appeared in my head . Shuddering uncontrollably, no one can help me. I had tried my best helping all the others, and now, its time for me to go away. My mission was over, my life on earth should end. Not that I am useful, just that I did my very best. My job of helping my friends had ended, so its time for me to end. Happiness is naught to me, sadness prevails on me. I will leave quietly, watching my love ones move away from me happily. They will be happy that I am gone, for there will be no more people to bother them. Its really time that I should leave, leave this world of despondent, leave this place of woebegone, leave this place of pain. My departure will bring happiness to everyone, since I shall bring away the sadness. So hope, hope that I leave now and you people will be exultant. Watching my love ones being peppy, would be the greates thing I ever see. Now i shall leave, quietly so that no one will ever notice the disappearance of me.
Battle won at 4:44 PM
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
What is a chef without a kitchen? What is a singer without a mouth? What is a thief without hands? What is a computer without processor? What is a phone without lines? What is a TV without shows? What is a soldier without rifles? What is a warrior without weapons? What is a pilot without plane? What is a pen without ink? What is a building without foundation? What is a model without stage? What is a calculator without number? What is a heater without heat? What is an air-con without air? What is a vehicle without diesel? What is Earth without living organisms?
What am I without you? NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL!
Battle won at 12:06 PM
Monday, September 05, 2005
Shunned in a shadow, peeping at you. Head hung low, not dare to be seen by you. Wanting to know you, but thought otherwise.
Feeling lonely, thinking of you. Playing a insignificant part in your life, hoping against hope to really know you.
The love i felt for you, shall always be with me, never to be disclosed to anyone else.
Thinking of you, missing you dearly, wanting to tell you how much i love you.
See you leave was always a sad thing, but there is nothing that i can do, only to see you walk past me.
I shall be in the shadow watching you, hope to see your beautiful smile, and that would be the best thing i could ask for.
Battle won at 7:19 PM
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Friends of a couple was always envious of them, especially when you like one of them. It was crucifixion for me to watch them running about me, having fun. Always invited to their date torment me. Eveytime, the smile of the girl would seem to be directed to you, but you know better. Their blissful look make me feel sour. My deepest secrets will be kept with me, till i die. My love for my friend's girlfriend seemed to be a sin. Tried many methods of trying to love other girls, but to no avail, maybe, I am not determined enough to forget her. Or maybe, I am not willling to forget her. Or maybe... I am just deceiving myself.
Couples usually have tiffs. She would come running to me, hugging me, crying on me. Trying to comfort her. Holding her tight, it seemed to be my best moments. But, it this right, am i supposed to feel happy about her having a tiff with my friend and came to me to seek comfort. It usually ended 2 - 3 days later, they would be back to their normal blissful selves. Or I should say, more closer then before. And I would shun away into the shadows, watching them, not knowing if I should feel happy for them, but I am definitely feeling forlon. This deepest secret shall be with me for ever..
Battle won at 5:12 PM
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Walking down the alley with back slightly hunched, taking each steps with great difficulty. The once magnificent demeanor was gone. Used to be a master seargent in the army, 'tekan' the newbies in the parade square, the once fearsome look had changed to hoary look. No one would have guessed his call sign, 'Tiger'. Eyes filled with sorrow, looking dead. The shadow cast behind looked extremely lonely, the cheerful side had been swollowed by darkness. A mysterious mist seemed to form around, seperating him from the real world. He seem oblivious of the things happening around him. Once being alert that a drop of leaf, could arouse his awareness. Probably, the parting of his loved ones had been too much for him. Tears started to roll down his cheeks, fell to the ground, even the tears looked lonely. Walking or rather limping along the road, suddenly, dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes, lying motionless. Time had ran out, its time to leave, time to go to another world, time to cast the past behind. The cadaver lay on the ground liked it belongs to the ground, cold, lonely and pathetic. The once horrified by many master seargent had left the world forever.
Battle won at 5:19 PM
Monday, August 29, 2005
Bullets started to fly at us like bees flying towards the aggressors. Shocked to see the huge amount of Vietcongs open fire at us. We were like their firing target boards. Finally, accepting the reality and not wanting to be a lucrative targets, we hide behind the trees. Bullets wheezed past us, missing by millicentimetres. Bark started to fly around too, when the bullets hit them. 105mm of artillery started to fall from the sky and exploded around us. The front of my pants started to get wet, rifle pointing to the sky, body shaking uncontrollably, looking to the leader for help. He was busy looking over his shoulder and asked for help. 'THUD!' A bullet hit him and he dropped dead.
We need backups, we need the god damn backups. The bullets seem to thin, they must have thought that we are dead. I slowly prone down to the ground and crawl to reach for the radio. Finally reaching it and started to call for help. A major answered the call and promised for a backups to arrived in 5 minutes. He wanted us to stay alive by then to witnessed the carnage of the Vietcongs. We need cover, I signalled to my platoons mates to throw some smoke grenades for cover. They were all shaking like they were in North Pole. I threw all my smoke greandes and took some from the dead leader.
The bullets indeed thin out. I quickly crawl over to my platoon mates. I tried my very best to calm them down and said we need to hold on for 5 minutes and backups shall arrive. There was only about 30 of us left out of the 70 men platoon. They indeed calm down and I saw that the smoke was starting to disperse and they are starting to move closer. I quickly gave a terse suggestions that we should maintain a thick smoke screen. They agreed with me and started to threw some smoke grenades. I looked and said it would be a good idea to attack them too. I took my frag grenades and threw over where my mind thought they would be.
Not caring whether it was lucrative, I started to spray bullets at the thick smoke. Taking my lead, they started to spray bullets as well. Obviously the Vietcongs had recovered from the sudden counter attacks as the return fire from them were concentrated, more concentrated then before. Planes could be heard coming from our back. Is it friends or foes. It would revealed in moments. The smoke started to thin just as the plane flew by overhead.
Explosions could be seen at the front, where the Vietcongs are. Then at the back, the whole platoon of the Americans are coming towards us. It was axiomatic that the Vietcongs are going to get a hard kick straight up their copulating ass. The commander gave the 30 of us a terse command to join them and attack. With the memories of platoon friends in mind, we started to get the courage never felt. And another feeling, liking of the war could be felt as well! Shouting a short war cry, we started to attack. The Vietcongs ran everywhere, making them open targets for us. One by one, they started to fall. By killing this whole bunch of Vietcongs, we would have killed three quarters of their troops.
Planes started dropping bombs and not long after, there was nothing left in front of us. Smell of burnt metals and rubbers and roasted flesh filled our nose. Some got nauseous and started to vomit. The war should be over now. The Vietcongs were crippled, having to send the majority of their troops over. Helping fellow platoon mates, we began to move back to base. With the war at the back of our head, I suddenly noticed the scenic view of the jungle. Everything was so peaceful. Only a matter of time and I would be back to my homeland, where peace prevailed.
Battle won at 10:56 AM
Saturday, August 27, 2005
2 peaceful days had passed by. Waking up at the crack of dawn, I looked up into the red sky. It seems to be an omen that something is about to happen. 'ATTENTION ALL UNITS! ASSEMBLE IN THE PARADE SQUARE FULL CAMOU-U IN 15 MINUTES!' I quickly went back to my bunk, shook up some sleepy heads, and get dressed in the shortest time possible.
Falling in stomach in chest out, the lieutenant breived us of our upcoming, critical mission. We would now be the 'aggressors' and take out the communists, we shall go to them since they do not want to come to us. We would need to cross this jungle before reaching the main checkpoint before attacking. It would be dangerous for us to cross the jungle. Communists guerrillas are suspected to frequent at that place.
So picking up our SAR21, we moved towards our targets. Leaving the base camp, the jungle was just 5 minutes walk away from us. Before entering the jungle, we were to move cautiously, keeping our senses alert for any guerrillas. Moving thourgh cautiously, I was actually liking it. I was actually liking the war! I really want to kick some ass.
A rustle could be heard some distance away. We stopped short in our tracks. Looking around with rifles held up, prepared to shoot at any foreign objects that pop out. DANG DANG! 'GET DOWN! WE ARE BEING ATTACKED!' Suddenly bullets started to fly in every single way, hitting people that were in the way. We could not see where they are, how are we supposed to shoot. Then I saw a pattern, all bullets are coming at our 2 o'clock position. Further shooting by the guerrillas comfirm my hypothesis. I crawled over to the officer in charge and told him that. He agreed with me and ordered every abled man to shoot in that direction.
Without any time wasted, we began to spray bullets over. The return fire seems to thin away into the deep forest. 'CEASE FIRE!' was heard and we stopped. 'LET'S MOVE ON!' We began to creep towards the place where the guerrillas were suspected to come from. We found 5 bodies lying and some blood trails. Thinking that it would be dangerous to fight unknown enemies, we began to crept away from the blood trails.
Everything went by smoothly after that, or rather too smoothly. Upon breaking through of the forest, bullets came flying straight at us. People fell dead without even knowing what hit them. The war had finally began, its a battle to survive.
To be continue...
Battle won at 7:43 PM
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Looking at the human smatterings with huge horrified eyes, I started to tremble unintentionally. My friend at my side, began to shake me and shouted, ' Come on! Let's shoot them!' Ignoring the wet patch at the front of my pants, I started to train my rifles on the approaching bastards. YOU BASTARDS ARE GONNA PAY! Taking out 2 grenades, I threw them at the Vietcongs with an accuracy that astounded me.
Those sonvabitches must have known that they were no match for us as they started to retreat. No, no, they are not getting away. I started to spray them with bullets. I am gonna revenge for Gabra. Until all of them had retreated, I sat down in the foxholes, badly shaken. My knees felt jelly and my arms started to hurt, the aftermath of the recoil from the gun. Gabra. My eyes began to fill with tears. At this point, something was heard over the radio, ' ALL UNITS, ASSEMBLE AT THE ALPHA CHARLIE BASE!'
Slowly climbing out of the foxhole, dragging the heavy feet, we managed to reach Alpha Charlie base. 'ALL UNITS REPORT CASUALTY!' The thought of Gabra refill my brain, overwhelming me. I blacked out.
Eyes opening slowly, the surroundings were unfamiliar to me. Suddenly, the thoughts of war, the horrible memories started to fill my brain. Gabra, the victim of war, he should not had died. We were great friends, the whole squad are great friends. Slowly walking out of the Sick Bay, I looked around and saw my squad mates eating their meal. I went over to join them. Obviously, they were badly shaken by the war too as they were fiddling with their food instead of eating them. The first day of war had been a terrible memory for all of us. We definitely hope that the war would end asap with us returning home safely. But, no one know the future, we could be killed, but what we know is that, either you kill your enemy, or your enemy kill you.
To be continue..
Battle won at 2:57 AM
Friday, August 19, 2005
At 1200 hours, packing our foodpack, carrying our SAR21 wearing our web gears that contain smoke grenade, frag grenade, night vission goggles and a mask in case of biological hazard. Boarding the plane, we were all very quiet. The lieutenant had definitely sense the unease in our heart, for when we board the plane, he started to talk to us, motivating us. ' Guys listen up. I know this is the first war you all are fighting. So am I. If you guys keep on putting that bloody face and that bloody attitude, you all shall be dead even before you get your bullets on the sonvabitches. So its time to show them what you guys had learnt and show them how its being done!' 'Yea!' The words might not sound so motivating, but it sure lift our lead heart.
At 0100 hours, we alight from the plane, falling in our different squads, froming our Platoon Alpha Mike. Colonel Grafton from the US brieved us. We broaded the 5-tonner, and were moving out to the front line. We were to stop the Vietcong from crossing the border. All of us were checking our rifles with trembling hands, no one had expected to fight a real war despite the umpteen times of 'war drills'.
Reaching our destinations, we saw some of the US artillery, Team Yankee. They were to support us in terms of artillery. Taking our place at the foxholes, that were dug in a straight line, lieutenant began discussing with the Team leader. We were to take orders from the Team leader, lieutenant colonel Sean Bannon. The tanks were well-hidden and would show itself when the time comes. As for us, we would wait till the first mine exploded.
Waiting in the foxhole is tough. Dawn came not long after and we could see someone or a platoon moving towards us. 'ATTENTION ALL UNITS! TARGET SPOTTED AT 12 O'CLOCK POSITION! HOLD YOUR FIRE TILL THE FIRST MINE HAD EXPLODED!' With rifles trained on our targets, we waited. It seems like hours when suddenly, the mine exploded. It seems to have triggered off a chain reaction whereby other mines exploded and us firing our rifles even before lieutenant colonel Bannon ordered us to. The Vietcongs started falling one by one, under the stray bullets of our rifles. Our body shoke more than usual under the recoil of the rifle. 'KEEP IT COOL GUYS! YOU ALL ARE MISSING LIKE SHIT! YOU GUYS GOT TO TAKE AIM OR THOSE SONVABITCHES ARE GONNA GET AWAY!'
Realising our mistkaes, we started taking careful aims and shot down more and more Vietcongs. By this time, those Vietcongs had recovered from their shocks and are firing back at us. We could hear people being shot and collapsed. It's either youshoot and kill the Vietcongs or the Vietcongs shoot and kill you.
Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw an object flying toward us. At that point of time, everything seems to happen in slow motion. I looked at the place it landed and saw it was a grenade, and the worse thing is, it had landed at Gabra. I looked at Gabra, saw the horrified eyes looking at the grenade, and started to try climbing out of the foxhole. His fear had caused him to remain in the same position despite the continous struggling. The grenade exploded, what was left of Gabra was merely smatterings of him. Looking at the spot where he used to crouch and what was left was just human cream, I began to get transfixed at that spot for too long. I was jerked back to earth by my squad mates. Ignoring the wet patch in front of my pants, I turned myself facing the Vietcongs, these bastards are going to pay!
To be continue..
Battle won at 4:23 AM
Thursday, August 18, 2005
We were brought to the drill shed. At this place, we were given the essentials for our training. Shirts, uniforms, pants etc. After that, our squad NCO first sergent Uleski said, 'Alright guys, get changed up into your camouflage-u or ur No. 4 and fall-in at the parade square in 15 mins. I do want any single one of you to be late. Clear?' "YES SRGT!' We replied in unison.
Having taught of how to wear our No. 4 especially the boots for some, they are facing difficulties. Being in NPCC in secondary school, the tying of boots is a piece of cake, but the folding down of the pants is kind of new to me.
Finally, we all fall-in at the parade square, just in time. After a quick inspection of uniform, we were brought to the canteen for our dinner. By this point of time, we had made some friends. Eating and chatting together, we finished our meals in 30 mins. Then, we were brought to collect our arms, the SAR21. At the armoury room, a lieutenant in charge of our platoon, Platoon Alpha Mike 25 briefed us on the importance of the SAR21 to us.
After the briefing, one by one, names were called to received their arms. ' Pvt. Jake!' 'YES SIR!' I jogged to the officer, giving a quick salute and stepped forward to received the arms in the proper procedure taught not long ago. 'THANK YOU SIR!' Going back to place holding the rifle in the Senang-Diri position, I can't wait to start my first training with my 'wife'.
After that day, we started our vigorous BMT. Starting from the dry shoots to real life shooting and also fighting tactics using the rifle or without rifle. Of course, there were the physical courses and also the throwing of grenades. We had gotten nick names for people as well. 'Gabra' a 19 year old Indian who was so clumsy that he always 'Gabra Zebra', that was why we called him Gabra. As for me, I was called Cool Hand since they said I always look so calm in times of 'danger'.
On the 18th of August 2004, 1 year after our BMT, while our lieutenant of our platoon was speaking to our squad, a clerk, staff sergeant came up to him with a grieved look. After speaking to the lieutenant, the lieutenant got a stern look and spoke, ' Squad Alpha Mike 25 Mike ( our squad code ) you guys are going to be helping out in the front line at North Vietnam, against the Vietcong.' Shit! So the rumors of a war going at North Vietnam was true.
Everyone keep quiet, waiting for further instructions. ' You guys will be lead personnally by me and with other of Platoon Alpha Mike to go to South Vietnam tomorrow morning 0100 hours. I want everyone to pack their things and fall-in at 1200 hours sharp. Clear?' 'Yes..Sir!' Everyone was scared, the lieutenant could tell that too. ' Gentlemen, what the shit is this? You guys are going to war and you guys better give me better attitude out in the field or I shall be the one collecting you bodies! CLEAR?' ' YES SIR!' Then Sgt Lim dismissed us and we went back to our bunk talking away about the war. This is going to be a scary experience, hope that everything went by smoothly and this bloody war better end pronto.
To be continue
Battle won at 4:44 PM
Monday, August 15, 2005
Foreword : This is completely frictional. Please do not believe every single word. But do enjoy the story. Any comments both negative or positive are welcomed.
Wow! I had actually managed to get a degree in Aerospace Engineering course after studying for 3 years in Singapore Polytechnic. Walking home, cannot believing that this is true, I saw a group of serious looking army boys. And then, mixing among the groups, a lieutenant. Looking at them, i was suddenly reminded that I was about to serve the army.
Entering my house, my mom called out, ' There's a letter for you. Seems to be from the government.' Eyes opening wide, thinking what the letter would be about, I saw that the envelope seems to belong to the SAF. Reading the letter with anticipation, it was according to my guesses. I was supposed to report to the SAF in 2 weeks!
My mom enters the room and said, ' Hey what is that letter about?' 'Oh its to inform me to go into the army.'
Feeling both excited and scared, I read the letter again for any instructions and my pack lists. Looking around, I quickly grabbed hold of my phone and started messaging my friends, some had already gotten the letter, some like me, had recieved it today. We are all new to this, although there had been many shows on the army lives.
2 weeks went by quickly. At the last day, checking that everything had been packed into my backpack, I went out with some friends to 'discussed' about tomorrow's admission. All of us were feeling both excited and nervous. Some even said how crap this is for us to serve the nation. Looking at them, I suddenly felt very patriotic. Now is the time for me to fulfill my help-the-nation dream.
Going with my parents to the ferry terminal, we would be going to Pulau Tekong for my swearing in ceremony and of course I would be there for my Basic Military Training (BMT). After the swearing in, we were allowed to have our last moments with our parents before we were assigned to our platoons and told what we were supposed to do.
The time had came, waving good-bye to my parents, I falled-in with the rest of my squad mates and were brought to collect our stuff and of course our arms, the SAR 21. Half-marching up the slope, it mark the beginning of my adventure in the army.
To be continue..
Battle won at 5:44 PM
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Day and night, side by side, watching the beautiful scenery, watching the star nights. In the day, enjoying the mountain scenery, the never ending surprise. The magnificent waterfall that plunges down, the horses gallop under the sun across the grassland, the two of us strolling on the grassland, hand-in-hand. In the night, lying on the grassland, looking up at the wide, starry night, everything seems so perfect.
There will always be thunderstorm in any part of the month. Gone, nothing, destroyed. Couldn't find you anymore. Trapped in the dungeon, chained to wall. Everything is back, just that, there is no point in struggling anymore. The fire of hope that had burnt in me had extinguished. Hanging on the wall, looking into the darkness, thinking of the beautiful memories. Tears streamed down my cheeks, nothingness is so scary.
You are the one that locked up my heart, You are the one that gave darkness to me, You are the one that extinguished my hope completely, You are the one that truly destroyed me.
Battle won at 9:59 AM
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Trapped in a dungeon, chained to the wall.Pulling and tugging, the chain of steel held on. Eyes slowly opened to nothing, what the difference from closing and opening? I do not know. Struggling with strengthless arms trying to break free from this ordeal. Nothing to hold, nothing to see.
Accepting the ordeal, eyes began to get used to the darkness, brain started functioning, rationalizing. Hanging on the wall, sobbing, footsteps could be heard. Light could be seen approaching nearer and nearer. And there you are, standing outside the cell, looking earnestly into the cell, with those water-filled, caring eyes. Even without the torch, ur presence would have light up my heart.
Escaped from the prison, light could be seen everywhere. Not used to this sudden brightness, shuddered and move closer to you. Holding back, not sure whether this is the correct path, thinking staying in the dark might be the best choice. Pulling and tuggin at my arms, you managed to move me out of the shadow. For the first time, beauty of brightness fill my eyes, my heart, my everything. Rainbow could be seen in the sky like a bridge leading to heaven, tress and flowers seem to be waving to welcome me, the sun shine high in the sky smiling down at me. This feeling could only be felt when you are there
You are the one that open my locked heart, you are the one that bring brightness to my life, You are the one that decorated my heart, You are the one that i truly love.
Battle won at 10:55 AM
Sunday, April 17, 2005
I had not blog for a long time and now that NPCC training had ended, there goes the end of my interesting life. Missing it is natural, but not of the days whereby I took over as the head or obtaining of my rank. But instead is of the life in NPCC when I first joined the unit, and when I am in Sec 2. I still remember our first orientation camp whereby I would agree that we had a lot of fun. I also remember that day when we had our first test and it was at the end of our camp. Now, the type of NPCC training that I had would only be in my memory.
TO all of my squadmates, hope u all have did well for all ur exams with flying colours, GOOD LUCK!!
Battle won at 4:26 AM
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Seeing Kenny's blog, I realised how he enjoyed staying in the CCA. I am enjoying my CCA too, but as you can see from the previous post, people seemed to be making me hate it. Rank seemed to be everything to them, not like Sherwin, even though he went through a lot and did not get promoted, he still come for training. Others, came just so that they can get promoted and be high among the others.
Being in the executive committee is a shitty position. How I envy those people falling in squads with fellow squadmates, going through thick and thin toghether like before. Ever since we got our post, things had changed, relationship did not seem to be so close now. Especially toward him. Power struggle occurred. Things like these could be avoided. How I wish I am falling in the squad,doing things together like training our drills, joking during breaks, have fun during games day, learning new skills during lecture, punished when our drills sux.
Soon, I will step down from my CCA and during June, Passin-Out-Parade will commence. Thinking of it did make me feel sad. But thinking of the person, make me feel happy of leaving the unit. NPCC in the whole is a good CCA but our unit was otherwise due to some people. I think I shall stop blogging about NPCC stuff since there is nothing great about it anymore.
Battle won at 1:59 AM
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Sherwin, I really want to salute you for all you had been through. Be brave and it shall be over soon in a couple of trainings. I did not know how much you had been through, come to think of it, I really had lead a peaceful life in NPCC. Do please forgive me if I had offended you in anyway.
Time is not on my side now. I hoped I can blogged soon about my life in NPCC and the one that was once my friend but now someone where my hatred had developed. So, stayed tune for these..
Battle won at 2:21 AM
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Due to popular demand, here goes another thing which i observe. On tuesday training, while training the sec 2, I asked Jing Hao to help me. Then, the squad is in the sun. Jing Hao went into the shade. Then, here comes this guy. He said " OUT IN THE SUN!!"
Fine, being Jing Hao, he went out into the sun. Then, marching up the slope, the sec 2 squad went, with that guy, Daniel =), Jing Hao and Me. Then, the squad is not far from the shelther. And this guy, was standing under the damn shelther, watching them train while he just ask Jing Hao to step out of the shade. COOL!! How FAIR he is.
And also, I also observed the face of the squad when he come to take the squad. All went so dull obviously don't like him too..
Battle won at 10:04 PM
Monday, March 07, 2005
Finally, I had the time to blog. We had this Adam Koo camp. Before this camp, I already knew that we would be made to cry. And indeed, I cried. It was not he made us cry, but it was us that made ourselves cry. Things that we recalled from our memory made us cry.
On the last day of the camp, some of us were given the opportunity to go up to stage to speak about how we felt and all that. I actually wanted to go up but then my parents had left long before the programme start. So here, I would say some important things about what I am going to say.
Around this year, we had this damn stupid meeting on Monday which we should not have. And on this particluar day, something happened to my dad. He choked on his dentures and waited for serveral hours before being seen by the damn doctor in the hospital. I was so angry when I reached home at around 7pm to realised that due to this DAMN meeting, I was not able to go to the hospital to vist my dad whom was accompanied by both my mom and sister. I was also angry that the my dad had to wait so long for the doctor while he might be choked and die. Luckily he did not. And that day, lying in bed about to sleep, I cried as I thought of how unfillial I am, not going down to the hospital to visit him. And all due to the motherf***ing person that held the motherf***king meeting that caused all these unnecessary guilt in me. And the next day, my dad was still in the hospital but having training, I could not make it down again. Since it was official training, it was alright. So whenever I thought of this, I would feel something boiling deep down in me, but I was unable to speak this out to the motherf***king person that held the meeting. He would act sympathy to me which would make my blood boil even more. And when this motherf***king's parent came, he would leave us doing all the shit while he left for home early. He would call and act sympathy about how late we reached home. The more I think of it, the more angry I am at this faggot motherf***king person.
DAMN HIM THE BIG BASTARD THAT CAUSED ALL THIS DAMN GUILT IN ME. ONE DAY, I SHALL EXPLODE RIGHT IN YOUR FACE!! AND THIS MOTHERF***KING PERSON PURPOSELLY PUT MASTER PARADE ON THE DAY OF HIS COURSE. WELL DONE MAN!! SO THAT YOU COULD SKIP MASTER PARADE!! THAT DAY SHALL COME WHEN I CANNOT TOLERATE YOU ANYMORE!! AND YOU EVEN DARE TO SHOUT AT DANIEL JUST BECAUSE HE DO WHAT HE THOUGHT WAS RIGHT, IN FRONT OF SEC 3 SOMEMORE!! THE DAY SHALL ARRIVED!!BE PREPARED TO FACE IT YOU BIG DAMN BAST**D!!THAT FACE OF YOURS MAKE ME WANT TO PUKE!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE DAY WHEN WE STEP DOWN AND PASS OUT!!! THEN I WOULD NOT NEED TO FACE YOU AGAIN!!
Battle won at 1:58 AM
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
WOOT!!I was sick yesterday and my MC covered today but I went to school anyway. Here I am blogging by the request from Jing Hao as he want hardcore stuff about NPCC. So here goes, I try my best.
As I said, I was sick so I did not go to school and naturally did not attend CCA too. And that was a day when I really relaxed. As I was sick, so naturally I need to relax. CCA was definitely off my mind. I do not know why but it naturally went to the back of my mind.
Having join the CCA, this is the only year when I find that this CCA had really been the sucky hardcore CCA ever. Is it due to the tremendous stress level from our school work? If that's the case, sorry for criticizing this CCA, but too bad, I am not a good time management person, so sorry to those that are hardcore to this CCA and that you feel disgusted to my blog. IF you do, please do click the close/back button to leave this page. IF you want to receive "MORE" about this CCA, come back during saturday to get the latest.
Battle won at 1:58 AM
Friday, February 04, 2005
At last, weekends are approaching together with Chinese New Year. But before that, I would need to survive throught the ordeal of my CCA. Enjoy was not the word to use now, stressful would be appropriate. Falling in with the squad would be seen as a bliss for me while some would want to come out and take the whole thing.
8.15 pm was the time that I reached home, tiredness overwhelmed me. How I yearned the day for me to pass out would come before I really pass out. I really want to be with the sec 1s whom I am supposed to be in charge of. However, from this situation, I would not be able to do so.
As the days pass by, the more I felt the stress from this CCA. Everytime during training, the stress would come down on you in such suddeness that you could not help but think that dying would be a good way out. No longer would you be optimistic in this situation. The most optimistic people could not survive through this ordeal let alone me.
Friday are no longer the weekend eve, where you could enjoy since homeworks can be put aside and be done on weekends. No more are the carefree days when we train, play, get scolded and do things as a squad. Dislike for this CCA grew strongly in me as trainings went by. Joining of this once superior CCA seems foolish to me now. Trying to be enthusiastic seems to be a stupid thing to do.
I am too tired to carry on with this CCA. How I hope that I could officially pass out. I am really grateful to those people that waited for me today till I finish the administration work that make me want to commit suicide, and thus going home late. I am really surprised how things changed so sharply this year.
No way I can enjoy this CCA like I used to now. And no way would I be optimistic with this CCA. If more of this comes along, committing suicide would come to my mind first and execution to that thought would follow within seconds.
The room that once seemed sacred and not allowed to be entered by us had changed to hell. I really cannot take this anymore. Lucky for me, next week, there would not be any CCA and enjoyment for the Chinese New Year would kick in but the week after next would definitely destroyed the whole happy feeling of Chinese New Year due to the hellish CCA.
Battle won at 11:44 PM
Thursday, January 20, 2005
This whole week was a tiring week. Everyday, I went home so late due to CCAs or remedials. As for today, I went home at 2.30 which was the earliest that I went home this week. PE was another factor that caused me to be so tired and an aching body. The PE teacher seems to be weaker than we thought as the push-ups that we do ( with legs on the bench ) was found to be much easier than the normal ones by Lu Zhou and to think that The Bangala was struggling to do one. His body was trembling. The aching body was given by him using the killer 10 push-ups. " I can kill you all with 10 push-ups " said The Bangala. I knew that something like that was going to happen. It was indeed quite a good training but the mouth of his made him unbearable. Unsounding words seems to be escaping his mouth like daggers that could kill. Weakness in us was said but not the strong ones. Motivaition do come along with those unsounding words so whether that was good or bad need to be seen after sometime. Aching body had stopped me from continuing and thus, it shall end here.
Battle won at 3:20 AM
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
WOW!! In case you have not noticed, a faggot had arrived in our school. He had been trying to act tough but the result was to irritate both students and teacher. No one like him after they had a lesson with him. His first lesson was crapping about his personal life. All he describe was good stuffs, I wonder why no bad stuff. He said about him using hockey sticks to hit a guy, why didn't he get caught? Then we would not need to face a faggot for nearly half a year. I pity those sec 1 and incoming students. Maybe not if he really do quit after 3 years according to that freak.
Today he asked the boys to run 5 rounds on the track in 10 minutes. Fine. We did as he said and run, we managed to finish the run in 8 minutes and this idiot do not even trust us. He doubt us. Then, he want us to run another 2 rounds in 3 minutes saying that if we could do 5 rounds in 8 minutes, then we would be able to do it. Then he claimed that he was logical. Any brained abled person would be able to know that people would feel tired after running for 5 rounds and some would have lesser strength. So obviously, his head was just a coconut that contained nothing but juice of perverse things.
Calling him a perverse is the correct way of describing his character. He talked about ot wanting any sissy in his class and said that the guys could check by seeing whether we have a banana or not. I think if he were to go to MacRitchie for a run, he would find that no monkey was nearing him because of the fact that he himself lack a banana.
He claimed that he had done a lot of things, but is like why would someone brag about it. He was such a shameless incorrigible faggot, hated by both teachers and students. So, why don't you just retired because you are getting too old!! You are not convincing us that you are so strong from the way you do your chin-up. You are kicking your way up!! Since you do not trust us and not like us, why bother about our future about going to the NS?? Stay tuned to A.V.A channel for the latest news on the faggot that appeared in our school.
He is deformed, crooked, old and sere,Ill-fac'd, worse bodied, shapeless everywhere;Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind, Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
Battle won at 1:26 AM
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Now, school seriously is starting soon!! And the worst part is that homeworks are still not done!!! Now, this is bad, real bad!! But, lucky for me, I only left 2 maths paper. Or should I say unlucky for me. But I still had some questions that I do not know how to do and had left it blank.
Leading a boring life, nothing interesting had taken place today. Just the boring stuff of homeworks, homeworks and more homeworks. The fact that school is starting in a couple of days is really coming down hard on us. Thus, I am rushing through my homework. Not touching and revising for my sec 3 works, do I realised that I had forgotten most of it!! Nothing could be done except to read through it now.
That was all of my boring and dead life which contains only homework and exams, homework and exams and more homework and exams. So adios amigos!!
To be pleased with one's limits is a wretched state.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Battle won at 1:29 AM
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Today woke up at around 9. At last, I do not need to wake up so early and being toment after the 2 inexplicable days. However, due to the fact that school is opening soon, the idea of not finishing my homework creep into my mind. Seeing the number of days left before my hell-like school days come, finishing my homework was on the top of my to-do list for today.
After finishing my chinese, and moved on to geography, I realised the most unreasonable homework I was given. We were not taught of the next year work and to think that our most clever geography teacher would think so greatly of us that we would be able to do the assignment. Just by reading through the textbook did I realised that some of the questions seems to be missing from the textbook. How I wish that I had Pekoe right now at my side. Endless of complaints would not help in finishing my homework, so I had no choice but to slog on. The continous fliping through of textbook to look for answer was adding on to my temper. I just seems to be unable to find the answer I want in the textbook. So after few hours, finally I finished my geography homework.
Natural disaster were happening around us. Tsunamies had occured in Asia and due to our good geographical position, we did not experience that. However, people that went on holiday and were unable to escape the disaster was not so lucky. Death trolls are on the rise with people missing that does not show any signs of life. It may seems so far but it was yet so near. People in our countries are missing, eyes glued to the screen of the television, people are hoping that they could be found and returned home safely. But the chance of coming home safely, to me, seems to be very small but those people would not give up. So let's hope that those people will be home safely.
Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.-- Truman Capoteno
Battle won at 11:50 PM
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Cool weather today, just nice for us to do some pioneering. Not like yesterday, today we got better attendance. However, still not good enough. All the squads never cross the middle line. We tried for the second time trying to make the watch tower and we failed yet again. Today we think that X-men was on but then not really. Some claimed that we were accusing them of being cyclops but then we believe what we see. There was a saying " Seeing is Believing ", so what can we do but to look more into the matter. However, now that we have somehow talked about it, we know what to look for.
Today was a tiring day. I did not want to wake up when my mom called me. Too tired to write more, cannot continue, so I will just end here.
Battle won at 1:01 AM
Monday, December 27, 2004
Today's weather was freaking hot. Too hot for anyone's comfort. Temperatures were rising in every abled bodies. Training in such a hot weather was not a good thing but we did not really train under the sun. Instead we were only tying some spars and poles together to form some structure and we did do it in the sun but it was only for a little while. We moved into the shade but temperatures were still rising. Soon, people started to be Cyclops in X-men and use Eye Power. It was so powerful that the volcano eventually erupt. Things cannot be done in the way we want. That usually happened and for some of them, we can do nothing about it. The day ended short for others but long for some of us. Temperatures started to go back to normal when we went back to the room. It was indeed tiring but we should never give up. We were in a disciplined uniform groups, but I think we should change our name from NPCC to X-men since so many people are being Cyclops using Eye Power. Having Professor Charles Xavier ( Professor X ) or a laser goggles would be nice so that their powers could be controlled. Or maybe, we could dig out their eyeballs as they seems to be misusing it.
Tomorrow we had training again but calling those people was another problem, maybe phone was not really such a good invention especially with caller-id. They can choose when they want to answer and when not to, what a great way to avoid your enemies. I really hope that tomorrow will be a successful day and no more Cyclops or there will be Wolverine appearing. So stay tuned to Sword of Fire channel to see whether Cyclops will disappear or Wolverine will appear.
"A failure establishes only this, that our determination to succeed was not strong enough."-- Hoshang N. Akhtar
Battle won at 1:10 AM
Friday, December 17, 2004
Hey people the last blog skin got some problem and so I had changed another one. Hope you all will like it and feel free to tell me any comments about the skin whether bad or good comments are welcome.
Now that we are nearing the end of our holiday, I really felt quite worried about those mountain sized homework. I had only done a small bit of it and now that I still need to go back to school more often, finishing of my homework seems to be tougher and tougher. I knew that I should start early and today I would not be here worrying about it. However, what's done cannot be undone. So, I just have to do my best and hope that I could finish the homework.
"Where the determination is, the way can be found."-- George S. Clason
Battle won at 3:19 AM
Sunday, December 12, 2004
I have not been blogging because I was quite busy and most importantly, I did not know what to write. I was leading a peaceful and empty life, that was why I did not have anything exciting to write about. Since I am free now, I will write something boring about my life this week.
Today I woke up feeling sleepy, actually I did not want to wake up, but then my stomach was calling the shots this morning and thus I have no choice but to wake up.
Yesterday night watch "Missing in Action", the ending part was quite disappointing as it was short and nothing much interesting. What was interesting was how the guy shoot, he hold his rifle at his waist and managed to kill everyone. That was AWESOME!!
I went to watch "National Treasure" on Friday, it was a very interesting show, exciting too. I wonder how they put all those treasure there.
Now, my stomach is calling the shots again, I am hungry, so got to go, try to write somethign more interesting next time, although it might be difficult as I lead a boring life.
Battle won at 1:51 AM
Monday, November 22, 2004
I changed the blogskin today and all the rest of the post that I had written was so called deleted. Today at last I need not go to school. Actually I was supposed to go but then the training was postponed to yesterday and so, I could stayed at home and prepared my uniform for this thursday open house. It would take quite a while as I need to make sure that my unifrom was in tip top condition. Mrs Yip told us that she need to brief us on some things like how to answer some question before the open house and also there would be a performance. Having to do fancy drills could be a tiring thing and also when people are watching, it might at up to your stress level and then you might froget what to do. I hope that it would not happen to us.
Looking forward to watching "The Incredibles" if someone would watch it with me that is.....
Battle won at 11:59 PM
It has been a long time since I last blogged. I was considered very busy with the BBQ going on and stuffs like open house and next year orientation really took up most of my time. It really seems like I am not having a holiday at all as my mom kept asking me how come haven holiday yet. Then I tell her I am on holiday then she say then you always go to school. That was really true lah. For the first 3 weeks of the holiday I have been going back to school from monday to friday and sometimes ended late and reach home about 7 plus except for the BBQ which was a different story.
Today was about the 4th week of the holiday and I still need to go back to school and I reached home at about 7.15 or 7.30. It was a really very tiring day. On the bus back to school, I took a little nap or you could say sleep on the bus until someone woke me up then I realised that we had actually reached the interchange. Lucky for me, people on the bus woke me up and also that I stayed near the interchange so I could sleep on the bus without any worry.
I really should count myself lucky as I thought wad happen to Derek. He was on this bus and he slept in it and obviously, he missed his stop. So, he travelled all the way to the interchange which i reckoned was quite far and from what he said and what I could remember from what he said, no one woke him up until the same bus went back. It meant that when the bus reached the interchange, the bus driver did not even noticed him and then when the next bus driver came and then wanted to pick pessenger up, I think they did not noticed him too. It really seems quite funny but he reached home quite late.
However, I think i could be much more free after the open house on this thursday except for occassional training fo next year orientation. Now, we have only one year or less to O level, come to think of it, I was quite scared about my O level mother toungue results.
Hope everyone really did well for their studies. But there was no shortcuts to it except the route of hardwork.
Battle won at 4:36 AM
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Today we had our only maths lesson. It was to start at 1030. Left the house quite early and saw the people training for the combined fancy drills. I do not know of the plan but all they did under the huge big sun was to march here and there. I sympathise the people there. It was really very hot and doing the marching without any patterns was indeed very boring.
Going to have a BBQ on Friday. We all wanted the cadets in our unit to have fun on that day. So we actually planned for this BBQ some time before and we had been stressed out by the planning. But we did not want our cadet to think that NPCC in Commonwealth was just drills and drills and punishment. So with this thought in mind, we do not mind how tired and difficult it might be, we still want to have the best BBQ ever. We did have one 2 years back if I am not wrong. It took place in the morning and I remember that I did not eat much and later still went to eat MacDonald with Derek. However, this would not be the case on Friday. The BBQ will take place at around 6 after some games and end at about 8. We really hope to let them have some fun.
Hope that we could really enjoy ourselves on this rare occaision and that everything will go on smoothly.
Battle won at 4:19 AM
Friday, November 12, 2004
Oh man!! We have been cheated by Ms. Ridz yet again. First, she asked us to bring geography file and since she was not here, the file was not collected as she did not ask anyone to do so. Next, in the test, she told us before hand that there is natural vegetation and when we took the test in the early part of the morning, we found out that there was no such question asking natural vegetation. What a waste of our time that we took to study for natural vegetation. This happens as she did not set the paper before she told us that she was going to give us a test.
Later in the day, I got meeting with the exco. There seems to be endless of stuff to be done in NPCC. However, the things that I worried most was whether our hard work will go down the drain. Tons and tons of works had to be completed and only with the presence of friends could they be finished in a fast and relaxing way. Although it might seems to be long and draggy but when we went out to work, similar things could happen to us too. Or maybe even worst things could happen.
I thought that my torment torture would end this week but it seems to be otherwise. I had next week where I still need to go back to school from tuesday to friday. However, I should not complained as most of the things are for NPCC, where my laughter could be found and where my passion are channeled to. I had always love my CCA as it was part of my ambition and that it trained us to be tough, much tougher than we were before.
Battle won at 3:17 AM
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
I had not blogged for a long time. Now finally i managed to squeeze out some time off to out some post on my blog. Lately we had been having lesson following the compressed time-table. Now i finally understand what it meant by compressed time-table as all the lesson are so packed together and it was amazing how all the lesson are able to be compressed like air molecules.
Not only are there lessons, we were supposed to have tests too. That is by our vice-principal, Mrs Yip. She claimed that in order to make this 2 weeks a useful weeks, she wanted all of us to have test to see how much we have learnt in this 2 weeks. Is it really that great to have tests at this time of the month, when everyone had changed to holiday mood.
At least teachers are not giving us tests like they were supposed to except for english and geography. For english, it was ok as Mr Chia taught us something useful and comprehension was something I would not study for. However, for geography, it was absurd that Ms. Ridz actually gave us tests when she did not even go through anything except give us work. So did we learn anything from Ms. Ridz in this 2 weeks, the answer is a big fat NO (like her mass) as she did not even teach us.
Under the influence of the holiday mood, one would not feel like studying especially when one had just finished the End-of-Year exam and O level. After the torment torture of studying for the chinese o levels-as people are playing after the End-of-Year exam and we still need to study hard for the Os-I could not really put my brain to memorising all the words. They seems to be alien to me.
No matter how tired and difficult it is for me to study for the test, I still had to. In life, you would need to make do with things. Even though you do not want to.
Battle won at 11:12 PM
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
I am really sorry that I am updating very slowly as my sister was using the computer to study for her tests.
Today I went to school as usual due to the compressed time table. After 2 consective days of training, finally I did not need to train anymore even though there was a competition earlier in the morning. There was 2 to 3 schools that came to our school for the floorball competition. As we had our lessons, I did not need to help out no matter how much I wish I could.
Next was the chinese lesson. That time then I learnt that Jia Min had lost her handphone. It was a new one. One should be able to understand that the feeling Jia Min felt when she lost her handphone. Maybe it was returned to the office, maybe the person took it. There was nothing sure about it. No one knew. So let's hope that she found her handphone.
Today I was not feeling the least sleepy in class. I even find the organic chemistry very interesting. Maybe I was being perverse. We would be having a test next week and organic chemistry was quite difficult.
So after that I went home and play game. Then she come online even though it was o level then playing gunboung I did not know she was there. I am really very sorry Doreen. Good Luck for your Os, you can do it.
Battle won at 11:03 PM
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Today our class went to the HDB HUB. We did not want to go. We knew that we were going over there to see the "Fabrics of the Nations" whereby they displayed the fabrics that us Singaporeans made last year especially during the SARS period.
We reached the place and then Ms. Ridz told us that we were too early. If I am not wrong, we reached there at about 10.15 or so then Ms. Ridz asked us to go to MacDonald until 10.55. So Kenny, Lu Zhou, Wei Jun and I wander off not to MAcDonald but to the HDB building then we went to see the fabrics first.
Time passed and then we gather. We were asked to sit in this corridor as to wait for out turn. Then feeling bored, we played truth or dare. Great I was being "chosed" and then they asked me question. It was really very awkward but then Ms. Ridz came and I was spared of the embarrasement.
We were split into 2 groups and our groups which were the boys went to see the fabrics first. It took us about half and hour and then Ms. Ridz came again and said we need to leave and so the next group did not have the chance to see.
Then on the bus they "attacked" Harid and then when we went back to school, they were punished to do push-up. Then being a newbie, I lost to Vincent in a game of International chess. Next destination was home sweet home.
Battle won at 2:12 AM
Saturday, October 23, 2004
Haha!! I am back from the sec 3 level camp. Now looking back, it seems like the camp was really short.
First, we reported in school and then we were given a set of papers that showed us the group we are in and also the programme that we would have over the next 2 days. Then we set off to the camp. Upon reaching the camp, we were divided into our groups and then the Camp Commandant, Mr. Choo, brieved us about the camp while we see the last batch doing their very last activities.
After that, we had bag checking. Many people did not brought what was written in the pack list and they were being punished. Next we went to pitch tent. It was a hot weather and that all of us were perspiring profusely. Then we went for field cooking. We were needed to cook rice together with some baked beans and curry chickens. Due to time constraints, the food did not taste really that nice as it looked. And that was our lunch, so in order to survive for the rest of the camp, we had no choice but to make do with what we have.
While we were having our lunch, it rained. So that would meant that our kayaking session would be gone. However, the rain stopped quickly and we still manged to kayak. It was indeed fun but also very tiring. Next we have our dinner. It was cooked by some cater and it tasted alright, at least better than having to cook Maggie Mee for both lunch and dinner.
Then we washed up and have our talentnight. We were being punished because the people were talking while the overall I/C was reporting strength. After that, we proceed with our talentnight with Sriram and Trixia being our MC. Each team were supposed to perform. After that we had our night snack and then we were asked to sleep. The moment we were waiting for. So we quickly went to our bunk and then lie on the floor and sleep.
All was tired but still night duties were on but I was not one of them. Althought so, around mid-night, I still woke up. I was considered light sleeper and I found that it was raining. I did not give any thougth about it and went back to sleep.
Then we woke up at around 5.15 and Kenny, Sheng Chuan, Jonathan Teo, who were in the same bunk as me, said they wanted to bath. It was really very cold that morning. I just went there to change my clothes adn brush teeth.
Then we had our morning PT. It was relatively a short one and then we were asked to have our breakfast and then do area cleaning. After eating our breakfast, my group went to clean the corridor and the commnad post. Not long after, we changed into our tracks pants and then had our land activities.
As Badron could not join the people in the sea activities, he joined our group. He was indeed a enthusiastic camper. He went to try for practically everything except for zip line as we had no time. I did not go for the CRC due to time constraints. Abseiling could be counted as the most fun activity from the four, rock climbing, CRC, abseiling and zip line. Maybe because I did not try out on zip line thus I did not say that they are fun.
After that we clean up, pack up and then went to have lunch. After that we had a more detailed area cleaning and that before we left, we were being scolded again as people threw their shirt and shoes away after the sea activities.
After that we went back to school and the bus was so comfortable that kenny and I fell asleep. I woke up not long after to find that we were reaching soon. I thought that was real fast. I don't know whether it was due to the nap or what that I was still so awake now.
After we left school to home, Zilong and Vincent were complaining about the camp. However, maybe due to the camps that I had been through, my friends in NPCC and I thought that the camp was relatively alright and much better than the ATC.
To those that went to the camp, do not be discouraged by the camp. As it was a training camp, everything had to be learned the hard way and that time was an important factor in a camp. Sometimes due to time constraints, people in charge of the camp will feel stressed and might give unreasonable timing but try to reach that timing and enjoy yourseld when you look back.
Battle won at 3:37 AM
Thursday, October 21, 2004
Today, some of the sec 3 had already gone off for the level camp. Tomorrow will be my turn. It was pouring around afternoon and I guess they could have missed out some of the "fun". I was thinking maybe if it was raining tomorrow, maybe we could also have indoors activities and that we might not go for rock climbing and stuff. Althought then we would be quite boring but those activities are not really that fun to me. Going to the camp was a challenge to me. Because most of the activities I had not done it before. I had finished packing my bag for the camp. It was not as bad as I thought but still there was alot of small items to bring. Also, missing of one item could cause you 30 push-ups. Now I would end here. Hope that I could enjoy the camp.
Battle won at 2:11 AM
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Not bad!!I had taken almost all of the exams paper back. All except one, Social Studies. I did not did that well. Maybe for my physics where I got 79 for the paper. To the people that read this post might think that getting 79 was not something to be so proud of. However, I am quite happy about it as I had failed my paper during Mid-year exam.
Now, I need to get back my Social Studies to gauge the L1R5 that I could get. From now, all i could get was a range from 15-20. That was bad, I know but I was both too lazy and also to stupid. Then yesterday Daniel asked me whether want to go JC or Poly. I was stumped as I did not know what to answer back him. Thinking of the worst case scenario, I told him I would go Poly then he asked me why dun go JC, say must go JC. I did ot feel like it and also I might not be able to make it.
Now, I would need to prepare for the chinese O'levels. Good luck to all!!
Battle won at 4:27 AM
Saturday, October 16, 2004
Today we were supposed to do 8 hour flag day. Early in the morning I woke up feeling very tired due to yesterday and now thinking of doing a 8 hours flag day, it would be a long and tired day for me.
However, when we collected the can, we were told that we need to go back to the collection centre at 1 as they need to leave. So after we had taken the can, we went to bowling at Chevrons. After about 40 minutes of bowling, as usual I was the lousiest, we went to Jurong East interchange.
We started our selling of flags or rather cards. There were lots of kind people there and some not so kind. I had just only managed to sell the little cards in hand then we went for our lunch. Sitting there feeling hungry and tired but after eating the food, felt more energetic.
Next we went up to the collection centre and they told us that we could only do 4 hours instead of 8 hours. It did not seems as bad as I had thought it to be but that also meant that we need to do another of the flag day in order to complete the requirement for our NYAA.
So they suggested of going to the ice-skating place to talk. We went there and not long after, Preetpal, Wei Jun, Derek and I left for home. Reach home at around 2 remembering that sis had brought friends home to do project and I thought that I am going to be bored as I would not be able to use the computer. But it seems like I am wrong and things seem to be not as bad as I thought. I could use the computer, if not how i post this?
If every day could be this great that would be good. Monday we would be taking back our papers. Hope everyone did well for their exams. All the best guys!!!
Battle won at 2:36 AM
Friday, October 15, 2004
It was indeed a long day for me. First, woke up at 6.30 and went to school at 7.oo. See so many sec 4s, then feel very left out, cannot find anyone from sec 3s in NPCC. So i went to wait. Not long after, they started clearing then i saw preetpal. So he was here all along, I was just not looking hard enough or that I was just looking for someone else. Finally, when they started to clear, I saw both of them. Nice timing.
Waited until about 8.15 then we got the key to the room. First we get to know what we are supposed to do. Next we move everything out. I mean everything even the cabinets and tables. Finally, the 13 people hard work had paid off and everything was out in a jiffy. We went to do what we were assigned to and started cracking.
Derek, Wei Jun and me went to move all the poles ( which is a lot ) down to the D&T block. Wow!! Took us a lot of time. Then they were supposed to categorise them while I went to buy the spray paint. What a hot day!! When I came back, they were only almost done tying the necessary up.
Next we went to saw the poles to the exact size. Everyone was under the sun for quite a while when we really could not take it. After 1 hour, we finally managed to saw the pole. Then we need to move them up again after tying. Now, Derek went to help someone else and so left Wei Jun and myself. After moving all the poles up, those short ones are needed to categorise and tie together.
When I finished, I thougth back about what happen just now. Whereby Jasmine spotted this red patch on my neck because the dust are making me itchy then she say got love bite. Daniel then say is from her and she was just sitting right there in the canteen with her friends. Oh man!! I was so awkward and so walked past her with my head lowered. Then went to the staff room to find Mr. Sim. He was not there and then we met Mrs. Loh. She said I did very badly for my Maths. I almost break down when I finished what I am supposed to do.
While waiting for the room to dry, I was thinking of what happen and of her again. I felt so tired and sad. Don't know why. I thought that it was going to be lunch break but it turned out that we were going to move everything back again.
When that time came, everyone was so tired including me. But still need to help move everything back. When we moved the cabinets back, everything stopped because we were busy arranging that. Then the girls left. Then the boys. So those that were left were Kim Peng Sir, Preetpal, Daniel, Chi Kheng, Derek and me. While we were arranging the things, we realised that the did not do a good job in stock checking. So we need to stock check next time. So we move all the things in by ourselves till about 6. Next time we were not going to call the girls again.
Next, went to MacDonald for both dinner and lunch. Preetpal, Derek and me, ate until about 7++ and i reached home at about 7.30. I was so tired that the wait for the bus was a torture. Then, broad the bus and slept in it. So tired. Reach home quickly shower. So nice. Then i came to write this post.
Tomorrow still need to do flag day from 8.30 to 4.30. COOL!!8 hours of that. But I do not think that we are going to do the full 8 hours. Cannot blame us for that, we were just too tired. So i think that that was all I was going to write.
Oh yar!! Erm.. doreen if u see this just want to apologise on behalf of Daniel if you heard what he said. He was just full of nonsense.
Battle won at 4:31 AM
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
At long last, end-of-year is finally over today. It was a great relief for all of us I am sure. What a month! We had finally finish the exam and next up would be mother toungue O'levels for me. It would began at the first of November with the sec 4s. Maybe it could be a good thing. Maybe not. Now I could play gunbound more and gain experience to stop being a noob. I also hope to buy some avartars. But that could only happen after I had more experience inorder to win and thus buy avartars.
Now that I could relax for a while, I would need to clean the NP room on Friday. Someone said that I am being a busybody. But I say that this is commitment to the CCA. That is what it should be since you had chosen this CCA, you should go all the way and be commited. You can do it good or do it anyhow but when you do it good, you would be able to learn more things.
I guess that is all I am going to write today.
Battle won at 11:22 PM
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Battle won at 12:33 AM
Battle won at 12:31 AM
Sunday, October 10, 2004
Oh great! My computer had gotten viruses. Now that my sister had installed the Nortion Internet Security, it should be safe. However, now everyone seems to be unable to see the message i type on MSN Messenger as people are not replying so that is my conclusion of people not getting my reply. I still see people signing in and out but they are just not replying. Wonder what had really gone wrong for my computer.
At least the exams are going to be over real soon. Now what I am left is Geography paper 1 and I have tomorrow to study, not bad. Now i am downloading gunbound from a mirror site. Hope it works and that I could play soon. And also hope to solve the problem of the not replying messenger.
Battle won at 10:54 PM
Friday, October 08, 2004
Today is a sad day to me. The computer connection is slowing down due to some reason. However, the only good thing is that the End Of Year exam is going to finish. Why must this happen to me? Why must the computer become so slow. This is so exasperating. I am here trying to download stuff but the connection seems to be playing tricks with me. I really should be studying for my physics but I am not doing so as I wanted to rest. I wanted to relax my mind so that I could remember what I am going to study later for the next test. But my sister seems to be unable to understand. Whenever I wanted to play, she would always say " don't u need to study" all this crap that always put more stress on me. Why? Why can't they just understand how feel? I really hope that the computer would recover soon and also that the exam would be over so that I would not feel the stress. And now i had spilled some water on the table and my mother said that I had play the computer until it had gone into me(direct translation from Teochew) . Man! Did I do anything wrong?
Battle won at 10:53 PM
Friday, September 24, 2004
Finally!! I have created my own blog. Actually plan to create it only after exam but since I am free now, might as well faster get over with it. My blog might not be good because i am a computer idiot so if it is really that pain in the eye, tell me.
May the fire of life burnt within you!!
Battle won at 9:41 PM
* Me!! *
Name: Tan Zhi Hao
School: Commonwealth Secondary Shool